KNOWING WHEN TO GIVE

It has always been difficult for me to ask people for help and money is one of the most difficult thing for me to demand from anyone because l don’t know what the other person is going through financially.

People may see this attitude as pride or arrogance but it’s none of it. I only don’t wish to be a burden.

I can share my problems with you but l won’t ever ask you for help. It’s up to those who wish to help me, to willingly do so.

I’ve been told by a few people to ask for help when l need it because some will not help, unless they are asked to despite them knowing your problems. Well l haven’t still found my voice to ask, till date.

This brings to mind, my experience with my partner. Throughout our relationship, l didn’t request for favours from him except for his time but he frequently asked me for things which l obliged whenever l can.

He comes to my home for meals, always wanting me to pamper him and assist him with his business but he couldn’t spend his own penny on me.

In fairness to him, l never directly asked him for any favour. He knows me for that, moreover l saw him as a stingy fellow. He won’t chip in anything voluntarily not even buy me a birthday present.

He said he doesn’t give unless he is asked to give but he can take when he is given.

Funny! He expects me to demand for a birthday gift from him before he buys me one, how silly!

Anyway, I was so hard up at a point that l lamented to him, not request and all he did was to listen to my lamentation and nod his head in sympathy.

knowing l was dead broke, he still ate my food that day and drank my herbal tea without helping with a penny.

This was a very comfortable man, who took from me but couldn’t help me when l needed his help.

Believe me, l was not feeling entitled to his help but l felt kindness begets kindness.

He would brag about helping his ex girlfriend pay her tuition fee while he literally watched me bleed in pain and couldn’t buy me a plaster to seal up my wound.

You may blame me for not asking him directly for his help or looking up to him for help.

I felt as a human being and a romantic partner, he saw what l was going through and he knew l was in dire need of help. He should have at least said something kind. Not just stand by and watch me suffer when he had more than enough to help me with.

Well he doesn’t help unless he is asked to, was his rhethoric and forever excuse.

He probably wasn’t in love with me but that is not the issue here.

My point is, we should know when to assist our partners, even when they don’t ask.

Some people like me, don’t know how to make demands. So when you see your partner struggling, please help them if you can afford to since it is not an everyday thing and you know they are not with you for what they can get. Moreover they are willing to help you too when you’re in need.

Don’t wait for them to ask before you know when to give. If you don’t have, make it clear to them you know what they are going through and are willing to help if you had the opportunity to do so.

That means you’re a caring partner, who knows what to do at the appropriate time and it will also show you’re aware of their pain even though you’re not told directly.

Knowing you’re willing to help, may just be enough.

LOVE AND MONEY

Love and money was a topic I discussed all through the beginning of last week. I listened to various perspective on this topic and I was able to reason out some facts.

Many I spoke with, feels that love can not function without the support of money. They compliment each other, like tea and sugar.

Some said they will not date a partner who has no job. No matter how much they love him and that does not make them a gold digger.

They only want a financially stabIe man, that will not ask them for money and will be seen as responsible. This was said by women.

Another school of thought believes that, money is needed to move a relationship forward. You cannot get married with an empty pocket and live on love.

There are bills to be paid and love can not pay those bills. Some women also believe that, love will eventually fade away if they continue to be in a marriage with a man that can not provide for them.

From what I gathered, money plays a pivotal role in solidifying a relationship built on love and every other foundation.

In my own opinion, money is necessary in a relationship but love is the bonding factor that brings two people together.

For some people, a relationship cannot be established without love and that is also my believe.

These type of people will probably not think of money at the beginning of a relationship and money will also not be a primary attraction.

Moreover, anyone that sees money as a primary reason for getting into a relationship, should not forget that people can lose their jobs and businesses.

What would you do, when that happens? Abandon your partner because he or she is broke or work with him or her to rise up again.

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. To me love, is above money and it makes a relationship more interesting. Money is also a necessity but it shouldn’t be a primary focus in a relationship.

LIVING OFF YOUR WOMAN

It is becoming increasingly trendy for some men to live off women. It’s like a new norm where men expects women to financially and physically take care of their needs. These men are not ready to reciprocate this kind and loving gesture. They hide behind romance to milk some vulnerable women dry.

You find such men seeking out women who appears financially stable and who are probably looking for a serious relationship. This trend, bothers a lot of women and it is really frustrating to find true love.

Some of this men don’t care about the age or looks of their target. Their main intention is the financial and material gain.

I know this has been in existence for a very long time but the surge in men seeking financial support from women is what baffles me.

I don’t know if the tremendous surge is due to economical down turn and recession in some part of the world or more men are becoming lazy and complacent. Even the perceived decent and responsible men are not left out.

I am not against a woman supporting her man, if he runs into financial problems. I just don’t like men who wants a relationship with me because of what they can benefit.

I am indeed big on gift and giving. I encourage women to also buy gifts for their men but not to take full responsiblity for all his needs unless he is broke.

A friend sponsored her man through school when he had no job. Fed him and gave him pocket money which he secretly used in financing his other relationship with a much younger lady, who he ended up with.

Honestly the surge in men wanting to live off women is becoming alarming and a hot topic between many women in my part of the world, especially older women and this is very distasteful to them.

I can help my man when he is in need and also be there for him but I don’t want to be treated like a sugar mummy.

I just hope reason will prevail and some men will allow genuine romance to flourish.