INSECURED

My friend has complained bitterly to me that his wife’s jealousy is driving him insane and he can no longer bear it.

He said, she monitors his every move. Looks through his phone and wants to know who he is texting or calling at every given time unless she is not present.

She just assumes he is having an affair while he is not. I asked if he gave her a reason to feel this way. His response was negative.

They have been married for over twenty five years and she has always been like this but he can no longer tolerate her because he feels suffocated.

At first he felt flattered and truly loved by her because of her possessiveness but it became an obsession over the years and it’s no longer attractive when you are constantly been watched and accused of what you didn’t do.

She practically wants to smell his boxers, each time he comes home. Any whimp of a strange smell of perfume will cause a huge fight between them. This is weighing him down and he is thinking of separation.

His wife is a loving woman and a wonderful mother as he said but her jealousy has dampened her good qualities.

Even their children have cautioned and reassured her like he is doing everyday, but she won’t change.

Well I think the woman has a clear case of insecurity and no reassurance by her husband can help her unless she gets help from a therapist.

It is a compulsive behaviour she cannot control and she may not be happy with her actions but she can’t help herself.

She may also be suffering from depression and severe anxiety brought on by this issue and it can be amplified by menopause which her husband says she is currently experiencing.

At this point, I implored my friend to take it easy with her and gently plead with her to seek help from a professional. Her obsessive and compulsive behaviour cannot be wished away unless there is a professional intervention.

He still loves her, he claimed and I think their marriage is worth saving if he is willing to help her.

There is always one issue or another in every marriage. No marriage is ever perfect no matter how long you have been married.