WHO ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR HOLIDAYS WITH?

This is the time of the year we get to spend with our loved ones but year after year, I’ve stepped into controversy surrounding who best to spend the Christmas and new year holidays with, between your spouse, parents, extended family or close friends.

I’ve seen spouse get mad at each other for one bailing on the other to spend time with his or her own extended family or going away with friends without their spouse tagging along. Parents also feel abandoned by their children during the holidays.

As we all know, the festive season is a family holiday. If you are married, your spouse and kids should be your first priority before any other person. Whatever else you wish to individually do, should be in agreement with your spouse. Even if you’re volunteering for a good cause during the holidays, discuss it with your partner.

We should also not abandon our parents and friends. You can agree with your partner to invite your parents and close friends over or go over to their house with your partner.

Once you’re married, people around you should know that you and your spouse are one body and no one should grudge you for chosing to spend your holidays with your immediate family, which are your spouse and kids. (If kids are involved) I’ve always said that marriage is a big commitment and you must apply wisdom in dealing with issues in your marriage both during the holidays and beyond.

As for a single person, you can choose whoever you like to spend your holidays with. It’s your choice because you’re not under any marital obligation. If you’re in a committed relationship, your partner will definitely expect you to spend the holidays with him or her, but that will be up to you to decide. You’re not obligated to, since there is no ring on it. Regardless of the freedom of choice, consider spending time with your parents if you still have them around, they need us when they are alive.

Well I am going to be spending my holidays with my family. Who are you spending yours with?

In the spirit of this season, let’s keep the flame of love burning.

Happy holidays.🎄🎄🎄

MOTHER IN LAW

I’m sure many women don’t want to hear about their in laws, especially their mother in law. Some women sees their partner’s mother as a threat to their marriage or their relationship and so, do some men.

Why is there always friction between a woman and her mother in law? I just feel both women are competing with each other for the affection of one man.

The wife wants her hubby or partner’s undivided attention, while the mother also wants his son’s loving attention. This situation is mostly common with daughter in law and mother in law. It does also happen to some son in law and their mother in law, but fewer in this case.

I see no reason why it should be so. This cat and mouse relationship between daughter in law and mother in law has been in existence for so long. It is common in my part of the world and in many other countries.

My view on this issue is for women to see their mother in law as their mother and treat them with respect.

Don’t see them as a competition, because you will one day become someone’s mother in law and you wouldn’t want to be treated otherwise. Show them love and accept them with their shortcomings.

Don’t try to separate your spouse from his mother or parents, instead encourage your partner to take care of his/ her mother. In general extend the love you have for your spouse to his family. Even when they are mean to you, don’t be rude to them. Be warm and accommodating towards them and they will eventually come round.

I know some mother in law are difficult to please, they set unrealistic standard for their son’s partner. Some feel no woman is worthy of their son, while some feel no man is worthy of their daughter.

Mother in law should stay out of their children’s relationship allow them to choose whoever they want and except their choice with an open arm and love.

Stop seeing your children’s wives or partner as a competition. Love them like your own. Men should also stand up to their duties. Love your wife and lovingly take care of your mother in extension your parents.

Same thing, applies to women too. Do the same and there will be peace between your spouse and your family.

I wouldn’t want to ever insult my mother in law, because what goes around comes around. I will one day become someone’s mother in law and l wouldn’t want my daughter in law to insult me.

I consider my partner’s family my own. It’s like enjoying two world’s and having so many loved ones standing solidly behind you.