Sex is used in many forms of relationship as a tool. It is used as a tool of entrapment. A tool for revenge and blackmail. Sex is also use as a tool of harassment and inducement. Sex workers have continued to use it as a tool to make money.

I can write pages on this topic but l want to limit my discussion on the part that interest me most and makes me uncomfortable. That is using sex as a tool for revenge and blackmail by couples.

When we are upset or mad as hell at our partner, some of us tend to seek revenge using sex as a tool. We deny our spouse or partner sexual pleasure at that point, mostly to express how hurt we are or to whip them back on line.

I don’t think it is necessary or advisable for couples to deny each other sex out of anger. I know it can be tough to feel sexy when you’re in a sour mood and people may see this as normal because they are hurting at that time and feel justified, but l do not see it in that way.

We should separate passion from our anger. Couples should not fuel issues by denying each other sex each time they get into a fight. It should not be used as a form of punishment, moreover having sexual contact while having a misunderstanding can quickly help resolve issues between loving couples.

Taking sexual revenge too far, sometimes lead to break up or infidelity. I wish to discourage it and suggests that sex should not be used as a tool for revenge among couples. Seek better ways to resolve issues that doesn’t involve sex.

Some people also use sex to blackmail their partner to get what they want. I’ve seen lovers blackmailing themselves into submission. For example a partner can make unrealistic demand or ask for gifts etc, which ordinarily a spouse or a partner can not afford or may not wish to buy for them. Knowing their sexual pleasure is at stake, they sometimes go out of their way to please them.

Blackmailing a partner by using sex as a tool, may appear harmless and playful to some partner, but l don’t think it shows a genuine affection on the part of the blackmailing spouse. It is best to stop using sex as a tool in a committed relationship, in fact in any form of relationship.

Let sex stand for what it is, love and passion. Not a tool for revenge, blackmail and whatever. Fight or no fight, gift or no gift, the show must continue. Don’t turn your back on your partner in bed. Sex must continue between two loving couples, no matter how angry we are. It makes for a better and a healthier relationship.

Would you use sex as a tool for blackmail, revenge, entrapment, etc. Yes or no, take the poll or leave your comment. It will be fun to know some of my readers views.


I laugh when some people say, they live a solitary life, they like to keep to themselves, they don’t need the stress of love, solitude is best for them, blah blah blah. Everyone needs a companion unless we want to deceive ourselves.

In the beginning God created Adam, he knew it would be difficult for him to function alone, then he created Eve to keep him company. Why should anyone want to be alone then. I love hugs and kisses, l like to snuggle up. It really helps to relieve stress, so where would l get that from, if l choose to be alone.

Having someone in your life that you share a level of intimacy with, is quite refreshing. I know happiness depends on ones attitude to life, but having a companion is an added advantage. They can compliment you and add to your happiness.

There are so many beautiful moments you can share with your partner and no one else. Think of sex, even if you have a way of relieving yourself, it can never be as pleasurable as it will be, if you share that moment with your partner. Having a shoulder to lean on, in the time of tribulations can help to soothe the nerves.

It is not good to be alone, loneliness can kill the spirit. Even if you have had a nasty experience in your past relationships, that shouldn’t stop you from trying again. Having someone you can reach out to aside a friend or a relative is good for the soul.

No matter how old we get, everyone needs love, needs the warmth of another being. It is a good feeling to love someone and be loved in returned. Suffice to say, we all need a partner and as the saying goes two good heads are better than one. Find love, share your life with someone, enjoy their company and be happy.