I know the norm are for couples to sleep in the same room. Many people like sharing their rooms with their partners, while some don’t. Personally l like to sleep alone at night but before you crucify me, hear me out and know the reasons why people like me prefer to sleep on our own.

For those who share their rooms with their partners, they see it as a normal thing to do. Many think it will bring them closer. They also feel that sharing the same bed will make misunderstandings alot easier to resolve and then sex can be spontaneous. I seriously don’t have anything against these thoughts, but not sharing the same room with your partner does not make any difference to me.

To some, sleeping in different rooms can even reduce rift between spouses.

The people who like to sleep alone have individual reasons for wanting to have their own room. Some for selfish reasons and most for genuine reasons.

I like to sleep alone because I sleep deep and I don’t like to be suddenly woken me up in the middle of a sleep. Most times, it gives me tension headaches.

That is why I don’t like to be woken up while sleeping with a bathroom light, bedside lamps, noise from the television etc. That is genuine enough to want to sleep alone because it involves my health.

Some other people claim their spouse snores too loud and it disturbs their sleep. They end up fighting all through the night because the one that is been disturbed will constantly wake the snoring one up.

The solution to that, can be ear plugs. That’s if one is comfortable wearing it. Some will rather sleep in a different room than wearing ear plugs.

Some people also stretch too much in bed, unintentionally kicking or hitting their partner. Sometimes dangerously, leaving them with injuries.

Such partner will prefer to sleep alone. Sharing a room with a messy partner is also a genuine reason for wanting to have one’s room. He or she messes up the room, throws clothes here and there.

Leave empty drink cups, stale snacks, dirty socks etc, everywhere in the room. Even after several complains and cleaning up after them, they still go back doing the same thing. To avoid a huge fight all the time, they agree to separate rooms.

Well for selfish reasons, some partners prefer to sleep alone because they want their personal space. They believe their partner is crowding them and they see it as a disturbance. This is not a genuine reason, it only boils down to selfishness. Some spouse can also use it as a medium for infidelity, locking themselves up in their rooms chatting away with other people while pretending to be napping or sleeping.

That said, we must appreciate the fact that relationships between couples outside the bedroom can influence their relationships inside the bedroom. A couple with a loving relationship outside the bedroom can extend it to any part of their home.

Two people can sleep on the same bed or sleep differently yet dislike each other and still fight but with cordiality and understanding, things will flow accordingly. For a loving couple, sharing or not sharing the same room is not an issue. They can have mutual agreement to sleep in different rooms.

They can also laugh heartily at each other’s fault, be it snoring or stretching. Some can even agree to rearrange their sleeping arrangement as issues are been resolved between them.

To me, sleeping in separate rooms doesn’t make sex less spontaneous. You can make love in any room you like. Meet your partner in his/ her room anytime the urge comes up. Take each other in the kitchen, bathroom, living room as long as the kids or anyone are not watching.

Rifts can also be settled amicably between couples that has a good form of communication. Partners sharing the same room or not, makes no difference as long as it is not for selfish reasons. Please keep the love and understanding going. Comments are appreciated.



A friend once told me she is too ashamed to get naked in front of her partner because she has drooping breast. Must every woman’s boobs stand at attention. There are so many women with natural hanging boobs. Some are pear shaped while some are guava shaped. So what if you have a drooping (hanging) breast?

So many women are ashamed of their body and they find it difficult to let their partner see them naked. As we grow older, have children and experience hormonal changes in our body, we should expect our body to change. So why should we be ashamed of natural events in our lives.

Some women prefer to make love in the dark because they don’t want their partner to see the blemishes on their body, while some like to hide under the bed cover. All to avoid their body been seen. Some go the extra mile to do plastic surgery just to conceal their age marks or scar.

I see this as a low self esteem. Love and relationship should be beyond body parts. It should be about the beauty within not only the physical. What do you think will happen to a breast that has fed three kids, even one kid. It can never be the same again. What about the body that has gone through pregnancy. Aside motherhood, the stress of living takes its toll on our body, both young and old. No one has a perfect body married or single. So what is the shame about a few bumps and scars here and there?

Men also have blemishes, but they don’t hide them as much as women. Some men are proud of their beer belly or the size of their sugar stick. They are always the first to undress for sexual activities or around the house fearing no consequences of their body scar or the size of their manhood (aka sugar stick)

To me, we should embrace our body. Love it however it is, as long as we don’t sit around becoming obese for health reasons. Men should also learn to give their spouse or partners compliments. Even though she has drooping breast, tell her she looks beautiful. Love her with her stretch marks and scars. Women too should accept their men’s body they way it is. Let us look beyond body parts and love the person inside that body.



Do you know who you are sleeping with? Not many of us know the truth about who we get under the cover with but we assume all is well without asking questions as long as love flows.

Are you sleeping with your enemy or your lover?

Some people are aware they have deadly or chronic sexually transmitted disease yet they sleep with their partners without protection, not telling them about their true status. Not caring if he or she gets infected with the disease.

Will you call such a person a lover or an enemy? Somebody who does that is surely an enemy with no love in his or her heart.

What will you say, about a partner that will not hesitate to humiliate you in public, turn you into a punching bag, steal from you but make sweet love to you in the bedroom? Is he/she an enemy or a lover? Hell, he is an enemy.

A partner willing to cheat on you with your friends, relatives or anyone that catches her fancy without blinking, is not a lover but an enemy.

My aim is to differentiate between a genuine lover and a pretender.

It shouldn’t be business as usual, when you get involved. Ask questions, know your partners sexual activities or insist on using a condom, if he or she is not forthcoming with the true situation.

We can not always be too careful but it won’t hurt to be sure of who we are sleeping with. Let’s make an effort in knowing who we want to get into bed with so we won’t regret it when it is either too painful or too late.

So do you know who you’re sleeping with?



I’ve recently realised that some people don’t pay full attention while out on a date, at a meeting or when sharing quality time with friends and family etc, because of their mobile phones. More and more people are getting distracted by their phones. Many of us are guilty of this nonchalant attitude and we don’t know it is affecting our relationships negatively.

I was out a couple of days ago with an old school mate who needed my help to plan her up coming wedding, but she was distracted and busy with her mobile phone all through our discussion. I have to constantly pause while she receives her calls, respond to text messages and constant pinging. This got me miffed, but l couldn’t complain because l felt since it didn’t bother her, it shouldn’t bother me too.


Honestly, it is rude to go out on a date and do what my friend did. While also discussing with another friend this past Saturday, she admitted her boyfriend comes to bed with his mobile phone and if it rings while they are getting intimate, he stops to receive the call. That l couldn’t believe.

Will you withdraw your tool out of your partner’s honeypot to answer a call? Will the tool still stand erect if the call came with a bad news? As funny as it seems, it’s absurd.


Why should we go to bed to have sexual intimacy with our partner with the intention of receiving calls mid way through it, why go on a date and constantly play with your phones, ping, send text messages? If you’re getting distracted with your phone, you will only make your partner, friends and family feel unimportant.

Some pleople may not complain, but they will feel hurt and unwanted. Some partners might even suspect infidelity or lack of interest in them.

I suggest we should all be disciplined with our mobile phones. Let us maintain a phone etiquette. When you’re in a meeting, please leave your phone in the silent mode, same with when you’re having sexual intimacy with your partner.

You can always return the calls or messages when you’re done. Let your loved ones have your full attention when you’re with them and not divided attention. Let them know they are very important to you and no mobile phone can come between you and them.

It will be really nice if we can enjoy a good company without our mobile phones in tow. I accept that phones helps with boredom sometimes, but it shouldn’t consume us to the point of distraction.


Sex is used in many forms of relationship as a tool. It is used as a tool of entrapment. A tool for revenge and blackmail. Sex is also use as a tool of harassment and inducement. Sex workers have continued to use it as a tool to make money.

I can write pages on this topic but l want to limit my discussion on the part that interest me most and makes me uncomfortable. That is using sex as a tool for revenge and blackmail by couples.

When we are upset or mad as hell at our partner, some of us tend to seek revenge using sex as a tool. We deny our spouse or partner sexual pleasure at that point, mostly to express how hurt we are or to whip them back on line.

I don’t think it is necessary or advisable for couples to deny each other sex out of anger. I know it can be tough to feel sexy when you’re in a sour mood and people may see this as normal because they are hurting at that time and feel justified, but l do not see it in that way.

We should separate passion from our anger. Couples should not fuel issues by denying each other sex each time they get into a fight. It should not be used as a form of punishment, moreover having sexual contact while having a misunderstanding can quickly help resolve issues between loving couples.

Taking sexual revenge too far, sometimes lead to break up or infidelity. I wish to discourage it and suggests that sex should not be used as a tool for revenge among couples. Seek better ways to resolve issues that doesn’t involve sex.

Some people also use sex to blackmail their partner to get what they want. I’ve seen lovers blackmailing themselves into submission. For example a partner can make unrealistic demand or ask for gifts etc, which ordinarily a spouse or a partner can not afford or may not wish to buy for them. Knowing their sexual pleasure is at stake, they sometimes go out of their way to please them.

Blackmailing a partner by using sex as a tool, may appear harmless and playful to some partner, but l don’t think it shows a genuine affection on the part of the blackmailing spouse. It is best to stop using sex as a tool in a committed relationship, in fact in any form of relationship.

Let sex stand for what it is, love and passion. Not a tool for revenge, blackmail and whatever. Fight or no fight, gift or no gift, the show must continue. Don’t turn your back on your partner in bed. Sex must continue between two loving couples, no matter how angry we are. It makes for a better and a healthier relationship.

Would you use sex as a tool for blackmail, revenge, entrapment, etc. Yes or no, take the poll or leave your comment. It will be fun to know some of my readers views.


I know some of my readers will be wondering what I’m up to with this topic. Well, don’t wonder too far. I love tattoos when they are beautifully made. Some body art has made me gosh out loud, while some are simply breathtaking. I’ve also seen some tattoos that are just there or roughly inked. Overall most tattoos I’ve seen are quite a work of art.

I don’t have any ink on my body because my pain threshold is a bit low hence, l don’t put myself through unnecessary pain. Nevertheless tattoos are beautiful for those who fancy having a body art.

The tattoos that fascinate me most are the ones dedicated to love. Some people ink the name or the initials of their partner on their arm, leg, torso, just any part of the body they like.

It is intriguing to find people having a permanent ink on their body, just because they are in love. What happens when that love fades? when the relationship ends, what will you do? Will you have the permanent tattoo removed, will you leave it as a reminder or ink another tattoo over it.

No one can claim to know how a relationship will end, so why put an ink on it. Tattoos are not the only way to prove you love someone, there are several other ways to show you’re in love with a person without inscribing their name on your body part.

I have a friend who permanently inked her then boyfriend’s name on her left breast. The relationship ended unpleasantly, with so much bitterness and she regrets the tattoo till today.

She wouldn’t have it removed because she said breast are too tender to frequently mess with it and l agree.

Most tattoos made in the heat of passion or while drunk are later regretted. Don’t ink your lover’s name on your body part because you’re so smitten or just because you want to prove a point to them. If you must do so, let it be a temporary tattoo or in hidden part of your body.

You can permanently tattoo your parents name, children’s name, even a beloved pet. You can ink your husband or wife’s name on your body, that is a more permanent relationship, but not a boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you continue to tattoo the name of every man or woman you love and dated on your body, you will definitely become a walking history. Make it temporary when next you decide to tattoo your lover’s name or his/her initials on your body. It will be easier to remove whenever you want it removed.

What is your take on this topic, will you have your lovers name permanently tattooed on your body or not?