A SOLID FOUNDATION

For a marriage to last long and be enjoyable, I believe a rock solid foundation is a contributing factor.

I’ve counseled quite a number of couples and l’ve seen so much in marriages, to have reached this conclusion.

In counseling, l found out that some people wobbled and fumbled into marriages with no strong foundation and they fell apart within few years.

Others were lucky to maintain stability in their homes, despite a wobbly foundation but it took them a lot of perseverance.

A solid marriage foundation, starts with friendship, progresses to a relationship then to marriage. It is effectively nourished with a good communication skill and no assumptions.

Such relationship has to be built on genuine love, trust, sincerity and kindness with no sinister motive, like marrying for money, class, caste, sex, status and every other wrong reasons.

The truth is, you can not completely know your spouse no matter how long you’ve been married but you can tolerate each other to a large extent if your marriage was built on a solid ground. 

It doesn’t mean you will not get into arguments or get mad at each other but your fights may not easily lead to a break up because you understand each other reasonably well.

I know there are no guarantees in life and people with strong relationship foundation can also falter but the rate of divorce is relatively smaller in this group compared to those who were built on a wobbly ground and this is exactly my point.

Even if you decide to break up, there will be less tension because you were once friends.

This is the 21st century, know what you’re doing, when choosing your spouse. Don’t add sentiments to it and don’t look the other way when something is clearly wrong. Don’t be overwhelmed by your emotions.

If you observe something is wrong, deal with it before tying the knot and don’t imagine every thing will naturally fall into place when you get married. They mostly don’t and you may end up regretting your decision for the rest of your life.

No one is perfect and no marriage is also perfect but you can at least marry your friend, someone you have alot in common with and together you can build a solid marriage.

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