I was astonished when a friend told me she is going to her grave with a secret she has kept deep in her heart for fifteen years. She had told no one about it but she had to open up to me because she needed my advice.
Why ask me for an advice when she has already made up her mind to die with her secret. I believe her reason for telling me this secret is not to seek for my counsel. I think she felt the need to unburden her overloaded mind.
She was four months pregnant, before she realised it. There were no signs nor symptoms. As she said, everything was normal with her in the early months of her pregnancy and that made it difficult for her to know she was with a child.
She only knew something was amiss, when her stomach started protruding and that made her to visit the hospital where the news was broken to her.
Sadly her partner was no longer in the picture. They broke up three months earlier and she learnt, he has since travelled abroad when she went looking for him to break the shocking news of her pregnancy to him.
Determined not to terminate the pregnancy, she went on with it to term and had a beautiful baby girl who will be fifteen years old in november.
Somewhere along the way, she met someone new and they got married.
To this day, her daughter thinks her stepfather is her real father. Only my friend knows who her biological father is.
Her ex partner who is the real father of her daughter is now back in her life.
They met again through Facebook and he wants to be fully involved with my friend but she has continued to avoid him because she does not want him to meet his daughter. In her words, “I don’t want to rock the boat”.
I know it’s a tricky situation to open up to the two other people involved in this life drama, especially her daughter because she will feel betrayed and deceived by her mother for making her think someone else was her biological father.
In such a situation, I will take my chances and tell both of them. Get the whole damn secret out of my mind and be at peace within me.
I don’t see any reason to hide such secrets. It is too much a burden for someone like me to carry. Moreover I won’t deny my child the right to know her father.
She will be doing herself a favour if she tells those involved and live with whatever happens afterwards, instead of going to her grave with it.
I bet, she will sleep better at night if the secret is out.
Would you advice she tells them both or continue to live a life of deceit?