I’ve been down for the last six days but thankfully I was strong enough to write today.
The only thing that got me going since Monday was my sense of humour and I also distracted myself with the social media otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to lift a finger by now.
Anyway my young niece came over to cheer me up yesterday with her baby and she didn’t leave without asking for my counsel.
I thought she was going to just let me enjoy her company but no, she had to make me talk more than I wanted to.
Her worries, which she permitted me to share with my readers since there is something to learn from it, seems to rattle her.
She had her first child seven months ago and sex between her husband and her, has reduced since over five months back. Without talking to her hubby, she assumed he no longer find her attractive because she had a baby.
She said, her husband is working harder and longer than he did before she put to bed.
I felt she misunderstood her husband diminished interest in sex, as a lack of interest in her body.
For crying out loud, the young man is working harder and longer to provide for his young family and he comes home exhausted after long hours at work.
There is bound to be changes in his sexual appetite, unless he is James Bond.
For someone like me, that is the clue and answer to her worries.
Exhaustion is the culprit, not the lack of interest in her post baby body. He has continued to be nice and considerate towards her. It is only the sex that has reduced not stopped. That is a signal he still cares.
With his kind of work commitment, if he didn’t find her attractive he won’t make any effort to check her out at all.
Clearly my niece wants more of her husband and there is nothing bad in wanting more. After all, they are married and she loves him.
I told my niece to lovingly talk to him to slow down and reduce is long hours of work because she needs more of his attention. She should avoid friction between them, by not giving him an ultimatum and not sound as if she is trying to control him.
She will have to also manage whatever her husband can provide and not complain about money, if he has to work less. Alternatively she can find a daycare for her baby and simply get a job to support his income.
That can enable him reduce his work load and pay more attention in the bedroom.
Working so hard doesn’t really mean partners, shouldn’t pay attention to each other’s needs. We have to learn to balance our lives but when it becomes too difficult to do, we can cut each other some slacks and bear with our partner till the situation improves.
Many spouse have sometimes been misunderstood. We shouldn’t always see a wrong move by our partner as hostile, it can easily be an innocent reaction.
Talk to your partner, if you don’t understand what is going on with him or her. There is no harm in asking questions and please apply wisdom in your judgement.