This past week was mostly uneventful, untill a young undergraduate complained to me that her boyfriend steals her money and each time he confronts him about this fact, the only thing he says is “I love you’
She said, she becomes soft on him after hearing those words and they just kiss and make up. What has stealing got to do with I love you, I wondered. Anyway I told her, anyone can say I love you and not mean a word of it. Apparently her boyfriend is using those sweet words as a defensive tool and taking advantage of her affection for him.
He knows once he says those words to her, it’s game over.
I told her to sit him down, tell him to either change or cut him loose otherwise he will continue to steal from her and get away with it. She is too young to enslave herself in such an unhealthy and a manipulative relationship. It is only going to get worse.
“I love you’ has become an over used cliche that is constantly used by people whether they mean it or not. A partner that steals your money and dismisses it as a non issue, is clearly not truly in love with you.
If truly he is honest with you, why can’t he ask instead of stealing. Even if you end up not giving him or her, it is still better to ask than steal it from someone you claim to love.
I love you, has to be matched with actions not just words. I will rather you show me you love me than tell me. That is why I am economical with these three words. I don’t say it unless I mean it.
When you ask me how I feel about you, I can say I like you or just smile instead of lying to you. Especially if I’m not sure of my feelings for you.
Someone can tell you I love you now and throw you in front of a moving bus the next minute. They can say it today just to get you into bed and dump you the next day. You will be left, wondering what suddenly changed. People can say anything to get their way.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying people don’t say “I love you’ on face value and truly mean it. It’s up to you to decipher the truth from a lie. He or she has to confirm their affection more with the way they relate with you than mere rhetorics. Your partner can’t steal from you and say I love you, then you believe him or her hook line and sinker.
You have to seek more than these three words to be sure of your partner true feelings for you. Don’t go to sleep feeling totally convinced, because your partner or a potiential partner says he or she loves you. The word means nothing to some people and it is so easy for them to blurt it out just to score a point. Their body language and actions must match their words otherwise take it with a pinch of salt.
To those that find it easy to deceive their partners by saying I love you and not mean it, I’m sure you know it is absolutely unfair. I am not trying to beat up anyone but I think saying I love you, should be said only when we truly mean it. Remember! what goes around, comes around.