I find it hard to completely forgive a cheating partner even when I am in love with him because I feel betrayed by him but some people are so strong. They look past their partner’s infidelity and totally forgive them.

A childhood friend of mine, had an affair while married. She got pregnant by the man she was cheating with and didn’t declare to her husband that the pregnancy wasn’t his, until she had the baby.

When her husband found out, he was angry but he eventually forgave her and looked the other way because he still loves her. Though he blamed himself for not giving her enough attention which led her to cheat. To me, she had no reason to cheat, attention or not. There are other means of dealing with marital issues without cheating. Anyway, her husband took the child in and raised her as his own.

“All is forgiven” he said and they are still together to this day.

How about the woman that got infected with HIV/ AIDS by her husband. After many years of marriage, her husband had an affair with a younger woman, got infected with the virus without knowing.

Years later, he came down with multiple infections. Got so sick and was tested. That was when he knew he was infected with the virus. His wife had to get tested too. She came back positive and was devastated but she didn’t hold it against him. Her husband infection was eventually traced back to the lady he earlier had the affair with. Funny! She went on with her marriage, nursed her husband each time he was sick and they still got on well.

Her immunity was apparently stronger and she was coping better than her husband. When she was asked, why she carried on with her marriage as if nothing major had happened. She said, she had forgiven her husband’s infidelity and every other thing that came with it, long before he came down with the virus and there was nothing else she was willing to do about it.

These are the kind of people I call strong, tough and determined. Very few people can tolerate such magnitude of betrayal. I will probably not talk to a man like that, for the rest of my life and won’t nurse him when he is sick.

It is one thing for a married person to erroneously get infected with the virus but it is bad enough to get it through infidelity and go ahead to infect your partner. I will definitely blow a gasket, if it was me. Forgiveness will be the last thing on my mind, infact my pain and anger will be palpable.

Reflecting back on this woman’s action and magnanimity, I find myself deeply humbled. I learnt from her story and she has made me to see forgiveness in a different light.

She forgave her husband’s infidelity with everything that came with it and she proved her undying love to him even after been betrayed. Nursing him, when she should be mad at him. Same goes for the man that forgave his wife despite her cheating and he accepted a child, that was fathered by another man. They both believe in total forgiveness without looking back. This is food for thought and a thing to reflect on but would you ever forgive such a betrayal?


  1. Elisabeth

    Thank you!
    I am humbled too by the stories of the two people who forgave their partner. Of course I admire them and perceive them as strong.
    What leads people to acceptance and forgiveness might be the end results of many reasons and a lot of reflection or maybe just the opposite. I am sure that in both cases the straying partner did change and showed remorse.
    Forgiveness also depends on our values and beliefs and definitely on our personality.
    In the end I also think that people make a choice and based on one and the ultimate evaluation: Am I going to be happier without my partner or with my partner and if there is still goodness and hope, forgiveness might be easier.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s hard when it comes to forgiving a person no matter what the reasons might be. This is why we can’t rely upon ourselves to forgive them. When we don’t forgive we become a prisoner to that person, they’ve moved on with life and were stuck back here with bitterness and asking all the why’s this happen. I refuse to be a prisoner to any person. Yes, it hurts for we are humans but our God is so much bigger then what someone has done to us. He will heal that area that was broken and we will rise to victory and be much wiser for it.

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  3. For me personally, I try my hardest to forgive. Life is too short to hold grudges and all that venom pent up inside you really just hurts yourself in the end. Forgiveness, to me, is more about letting it go for yourself, to heal yourself. We can control only ourself and only our own thoughts. It is quite hard to do and I admittedly fail at this many times, especially if it were such a huge thing needing forgiving. But I know I sure am far from perfect and am thankful that God forgives me each and every time, so I try to use that as a model. Great post and wonderful, thought provoking reflection!

    Liked by 1 person

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