It has always been difficult for me to ask people for help and money is one of the most difficult thing for me to demand from anyone because l don’t know what the other person is going through financially.
People may see this attitude as pride or arrogance but it’s none of it. I only don’t wish to be a burden.
I can share my problems with you but l won’t ever ask you for help. It’s up to those who wish to help me, to willingly do so.
I’ve been told by a few people to ask for help when l need it because some will not help, unless they are asked to despite them knowing your problems. Well l haven’t still found my voice to ask, till date.
This brings to mind, my experience with my partner. Throughout our relationship, l didn’t request for favours from him except for his time but he frequently asked me for things which l obliged whenever l can.
He comes to my home for meals, always wanting me to pamper him and assist him with his business but he couldn’t spend his own penny on me.
In fairness to him, l never directly asked him for any favour. He knows me for that, moreover l saw him as a stingy fellow. He won’t chip in anything voluntarily not even buy me a birthday present.
He said he doesn’t give unless he is asked to give but he can take when he is given.
Funny! He expects me to demand for a birthday gift from him before he buys me one, how silly!
Anyway, I was so hard up at a point that l lamented to him, not request and all he did was to listen to my lamentation and nod his head in sympathy.
knowing l was dead broke, he still ate my food that day and drank my herbal tea without helping with a penny.
This was a very comfortable man, who took from me but couldn’t help me when l needed his help.
Believe me, l was not feeling entitled to his help but l felt kindness begets kindness.
He would brag about helping his ex girlfriend pay her tuition fee while he literally watched me bleed in pain and couldn’t buy me a plaster to seal up my wound.
You may blame me for not asking him directly for his help or looking up to him for help.
I felt as a human being and a romantic partner, he saw what l was going through and he knew l was in dire need of help. He should have at least said something kind. Not just stand by and watch me suffer when he had more than enough to help me with.
Well he doesn’t help unless he is asked to, was his rhethoric and forever excuse.
He probably wasn’t in love with me but that is not the issue here.
My point is, we should know when to assist our partners, even when they don’t ask.
Some people like me, don’t know how to make demands. So when you see your partner struggling, please help them if you can afford to since it is not an everyday thing and you know they are not with you for what they can get. Moreover they are willing to help you too when you’re in need.
Don’t wait for them to ask before you know when to give. If you don’t have, make it clear to them you know what they are going through and are willing to help if you had the opportunity to do so.
That means you’re a caring partner, who knows what to do at the appropriate time and it will also show you’re aware of their pain even though you’re not told directly.
Knowing you’re willing to help, may just be enough.